Last year I got shut out in a pong game with some friends. Unfortunately, my buddies play for keeps.

It took months of cold weather, scheduling conflicts and an entire summer, but last weekend they decided I would serve my punishment: a naked lap around a South Campus apartment building.

We went to a friend’s apartment, near Lambreth Lane, for a party. After some handshakes and smiles, we agreed it was time to take the plunge.

I slipped out the door and stripped down to my underwear. Then, with a nod to my friends, I pulled off my boxers and sprinted across the front of the building.

With the wind blowing in my face (and everywhere else imaginable), I stumbled around the first turn and ran right past two girls. One girl turned to the other and asked, ‘Is that guy wearing any pants?’

Now in back of the building, I ran down the home stretch to the raucous applause of about 15 friends who had exited the party and were now staring straight at my junk. It was high school all over again.

Once I got back to the apartment, I slipped on my boxers and couldn’t help feeling an overwhelming sense of exhilaration. Half-naked, breathless and packed with liquid courage, one thought kept streaking through my head: ‘Nudity is fun!’

So, to spread the joy, I compiled a list of five great places for public nudity. Readers, it is time for you to sit back, relax and take notes. And then take off your pants:

Job Interview – There is no better way to leave a lasting impression on your future employers (and their vinyl chair) than to show up for an interview in your birthday suit. If all goes well, you’ll come off as poised and confident – but not too confident. It might get awkward.

First Date – Nothing says, ‘I want to be in a mature relationship,’ more than showing up at the door wearing a nice pair of loafers and a top hat. And nothing else. Unfortunately, most classy restaurants have a dress code. So wear your nice sock(s).

Chemistry Lab – What better way to break the ice with your cute lab partner than to ask her to tie your apron? But make sure you don’t back into a Bunsen burner. The last thing you need is to get a little behind in your work.

Motorcycle – Nothing gets more babes than a dude on a hog. Plus, chicks dig a guy who wears protection when he’s naked. So strap on that helmet.

Carrier Dome – Could you imagine showing up to the Georgetown game in your after-hours tuxedo? It would be great! Besides, with all those Hoya fans in town, nobody would even notice the extra ***hole wandering the building.

Well, there you have it: five great ways to show the world everything you have to offer. Whether it’s rising to the occasion in a job interview or falling in love on your first date, the naked truth is that nudity is one of life’s bare necessities.

While it’s still warm out.

Danny Fersh is a sophomore broadcast journalism major and the humor columnist. His columns appear every Wednesday and . . . is it drafty in here? Can someone close the window? He can be reached at dafersh@syr.edu.