Last weekend my roommate turned 20.For the birthday celebration, our crew went for an outing to the one place you can expect five sophomores to go for a night of classy festivities and high-end entertainment: a strip club.

We took a taxi and arrived at our destination at around 2 a.m., ripe with expectations and curiosity.For the whole night, all I could think about was every stripper scene I’ve ever witnessed in the movies.

Would this place be like the posh Vegas clubs in ‘Showgirls,’ or packed full of hotties like Demi Moore in ‘Striptease’?

What if we ran into one of our professors, like James Van Der Beek’s character in ‘Varsity Blues’? Do you think she’d be offended if one of us asked for an extension? You know, for that upcoming paper?

What if we screwed up and came for ladies night? Would Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley be on stage in nothing but a bowtie? Sure, a Swayze sighting might be a little scary, but at least Chris Farley had a nice rack.

Of course, nothing in the movies or on TV ever quite measures up to the real thing.

As soon as we walked in, we realized there was no Demi Moore at the poles, no secret professor in a lap dance booth and no Farley-esque man boobs bouncing on stage.

Rather, the place was crawling with moderately attractive, scantily clad employees who immediately demonstrated the legendary hospitality that only strippers can provide.They embraced us at the door, introduced themselves with a smile and even patted us down. You know, for security reasons.

From that point on, we feasted our eyes on the many wonders of the world of exotic dancing.Nude women climbing poles like Spiderman? Sure.Diving face-first to retrieve a dollar bill from a G-string? Yes, sir. A private lap dance with a square-jawed blonde who you really hope is female?Definitely.

In fact, what I saw in person was more over the top, more accessible and more … naked than anything I had ever watched on screen in my formative years. There was more shaking and jiggling in that joint than a swimming pool full of Jell-O.

Actually, the whole thing made me pretty uncomfortable. Call me old-fashioned. Say I’m a prude. I don’t care.Seeing strange women do strange things in a strange place was, well, strange. The whole time I couldn’t shake the feeling that my mom was going to barge in and yell at me for looking at boobs.

Should I feel this way? On the one hand, no.Technically, there’s nothing illegal about a strip club.Plus, Saturday was one of the few times in my life I got to look at naked chicks without a ladder and binoculars.

On the other hand, my whole life I’ve been perfectly happy to only see naked women on the off chance that my mediocre game works on a girl who would probably rather be home watching ‘Gilmore Girls.’ Is changing that formula for happiness really worth a $25 fee and the strong craving for hand sanitizer that comes along with it?

It depends on who you are. I prefer to earn nudity the hard way:with my charm, wit, devilishly good looks and some good old-fashioned begging.Maybe you prefer the strip club. Either way, don’t expect your real-life results to be like the movies.

Unless you have a thing for fat guys in bowties.

Danny Fersh is a sophomore broadcast journalism major and his column appears every Wednesday.Someone please tell his mom not to read this week’s column. He can be reached at dafersh@syr.edu, and you can check him out on the Fresh Squeeze at dailyorange.com.