Over Spring Break I went to a party with my roommate, Abram, and some other friends. While we were there, Abe ran into an old flame from high school. She was clearly still interested in him and promptly dragged him into a side room so they could ‘catch up.’

About five minutes later she came storming out of the room shaking her head. When I asked Abe what happened, here’s what he told me:

‘She was all over me, but right as we were about to kiss she shoved me away and started shaking her head. Then, she told me that she gave up boys for Lent, called me a ‘butthead’ and just left me there. Can you believe that?’

For most guys, watching their buddy get stonewalled is absolutely hilarious. For me, it was tragic.

You see, my roomie and I are no average pair. We’ve been friends since we were two years old and requested to live together when we came to Syracuse. We are best buds. We are hetero life-mates. We are a bromance for the ages.

So when I saw Abe lose a girl to Lent, I felt his pain.

Now, Urban Dictionary defines ‘bromance’ as ‘the intense love shared between two heterosexual males.’ By this definition, scholars, historians and small children alike agree that Christopher Turk and John Dorian’s relationship on ‘Scrubs’ represents the epitome of bromantic love.

Whether Turk is holding J.D. in his arms after a hug or J.D.is serenading Turk with a rendition of ‘Guy Love,’ these two doctors each get totally gay when the other walks in the room. (‘Gay,’ of course, meaning ‘happy.’)

Still, not every bromance is as deep as Turk and J.D.’s, or even mine and Abe’s. Oftentimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a regular friend and bromantic interest, but there’s no need to worry. Here are three easy ways to tell whether your hetero friendship is just casual or full-blown guy-love:

1. You have permanent wingman status. Sure, you don’t have to be BFFs to help a guy out with a girl, but true bro-mates set their buddy up at all costs. Whether it’s flirting with a girl’s homely friend so that your man and his lady get some quality alone time or guarding a closet door with a broomstick and a Super Soaker to make sure no one intrudes on the two or even telling a girl that your friend used to be in ‘Menudo,’ a real bro gets the job done. That being said …

2. No girl ever comes between you. We all know how women drive men crazy. A good test of a bromance is how that affects the friendship when you each inevitably go for the same girl. If you’re just friends, it can tear you apart. If you’re really bronected, the next day you’ll laugh about it, critique her kissing abilities and get breakfast as a trio. As long as she picks up the check.

3. Any time is a good time for a hug. Whether it’s a front hug, side hug, bear hug or sneak hug, there’s no masculine awkwardness between bromo-sapiens when it comes to showing affection. Although it might be time to tone it down when your bromey’s family starts referring to you as an ‘in-law.’

True bromance is hard to find these days, but for those lucky fellows like myself, it’s a beautiful thing. Sure, two guys who are that close can send some confusing signals to the outside world, but that’s no reason to hide from your feelings. Plus, bro-love is just more dependable than the feminine alternative.

That is, until people start giving it up for Lent.

Danny Fersh is a freshman broadcast journalism major and the humor columnist. His columns appear every Wednesday, and he’s totally jonesing for some jambalaya. He can be reached at dafersh@syr.edu.