Maybe it’s because I hit on her constantly.

Maybe it’s because I demand a sandwich whenever I see her. Maybe it’s because I call her ‘Wench.’ Whatever the reason, my professor thinks I’m a raging sexist. I assure you that it’s not the lawsuit – I mean, case.

Even so, with Valentine’s Day on the horizon, I’ve served up a special present for my female readers. Both of you. It might not be chocolate or flowers, but hey – I’m a guy on a budget.

So, without further ado, ladies, here are 10 reasons why you rock:

1. You give better advice. Whenever I call my brothers with a problem, they only have one thing to say: ‘Quit acting like such a little girl and deal with it.’ On the other hand, when I call my sister for advice, she goes into much greater detail. ‘Quit acting like such a little girl and deal with it,’ she’ll tell me. ‘Then, slip something into her drink.’ Her words got me through junior high.

2. You give better fashion advice. Thanks to the women in my life, my leotard stays in the closet – instead of my drawers. That way, when I wear it, it doesn’t bunch!

3. All the single ladies. (All the single ladies.) All the single ladies. (All the single ladies)…

4. The View. I love this show. It’s always great to hear the opinions of three strong women and whatever Whoopi Goldberg is.

5. Soft-core porn. This easy-going alternative is clearly geared to female viewers who, like myself, prefer it to some of the crazy hard-core pornos out there today. Not that I’ve seen either. Oh, who am I kidding? Someone tell my mom not to read this…

6. The S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications. My Newhouse class is 70 percent female, and it’s packed with hotties. Here’s to hoping they study BJ! You know, broadcast journalism.

7. Sex and the City. This cultural phenomenon is a great show that gives its viewers front-row seats to the female psyche. Not that I actually watch it. Oh, who am I kidding? Someone tell my dad not to read this…

8. Hillary Clinton. I’m from the DC area, so believe me when I say this chick rocks Capitol Hill. Plus, she was probably President Obama’s last Cabinet member to sleep with Bill Clinton.

9. Sarah Palin. This Alaskan hockey mom took the nation by storm during her ’08 bid for the vice presidency. Sure, she lost the election, but she definitely won my heart. I totally peed my pants when she winked during the VP debate. But I swear I’m potty-trained. Oh, who am I kidding? Someone tell my girlfriend not to read this…

10. Tina Fey. ‘Nuff said.

Now, not everybody appreciates the fairer sex like I do. Some people are sexists, and others are just plain creepers – but enough about my sister. The bottom line is that, even in today’s society, women often don’t get the respect they deserve, and that’s a crying shame. So, to show my commitment to the feminist cause, I promise a personal moratorium on all sexist columns until you achieve full equality in the home and the workplace – or at least until next week.And if that doesn’t work, I’m marching on Washington and burning my leotard.

Danny Fersh is a freshman broadcast journalism major and the humor columnist. His columns appear every Wednesday but one and he’s really just a lesbian woman trapped in a man’s body. He can be reached at dafersh@syr.edu