Before reacting to the Coker twins controversy, get to know who they were

I am the niece of Jason and Eric Coker and I am also currently a college student. Like those who have commented about the controversy involving Jason and Eric, I never actually had the chance to meet my uncles. Since I never met them, I am not writing to attest to their character or talk about the type of people they truly were, but instead try to convey my feelings of how this unfortunate event has been painful for our family as well.

First of all, I want to reiterate the sentiments already expressed by some of my family members in previous letters by stating that we condemn hate in any form and are sorry for the distress the discovery of the letters in the Remembrance archive may have caused. We completely understand the offense that could be taken from the remarks made by Jason and Eric.

That being said, “cancel culture” has recently become an increasingly common method of reacting to controversy, and I will admit I have been guilty of it at times. It can be easy to jump to conclusions about situations where we often don’t initially see the entire picture. However, I have now experienced firsthand how incredibly difficult it is for families to deal with the fallout of someone they know and love being “canceled”.

It is a gut-wrenching feeling to see your relatives’ names being lambasted online and know that they are no longer around to take responsibility or apologize for their past poor choices. Seeing their views being called “violently antisemitic” by people who know them even less than I do is almost incomprehensible to me.

I find it so hard to understand how someone can label a person they never met as being so vile based on one extremely poor choice made 34 years ago. Yes, it was a shameful choice on Jason and Eric’s part to use the language they did and by no means am I trying to say that what they wrote is okay. However, to see comments like “I would be horrified to be memorialized in the same way” as Jason and Eric, from people that never once met them or know virtually nothing about them, is just as hurtful as the remarks Jason and Eric made. I wonder if those people in the future, when they look back on this moment with some greater perspective, might also wish that they had been more thoughtful about how their choice of language can hurt others.

This whole experience has been distressing for everyone involved, including the people who love Jason and Eric. In the future, I hope that people won’t be so quick to cast judgment before getting to know a person for who they really are, instead of focusing on one outlying incident. I especially hope this for those in the Remembrance program, the purpose of which, as I understand it, is to get to know and remember the victims for the people they were, and recognize what they never got the chance to become.

Paige Norwell, niece of Jason and Eric Coker