In becoming a woman, you don’t have to lose your right to being a girl
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Millennial and Gen-Z women are making a collective “return to girlhood” after growing up in a fourth-wave feminist world.
Younger women have had an undeniably unique experience as feminists, a raw effect of social media’s growth. The National Women’s History Museum attributes much of the uniqueness and efficacy of fourth-wave feminism to social media.
Fourth-wave feminism is rooted in women sharing traumatizing experiences with one another, and uniting to combat dehumanizing norms. The widespread use of #MeToo on various social media platforms in raising awareness about the magnitude of sexual harassment and assault in 2017, or the organization of women’s marches directly following Trump’s inauguration in 2016, became hallmark items of the fourth-wave movement. Social media changed everything.
And just when cases of COVID-19 seemed to be lightening up, the Supreme Court overturned Roe V. Wade, abandoning our Constitutional right to abortion. Trans women were facing (and continue to face) attacks on their right to bodily autonomy through increased restrictions on gender affirming care. The fact that our rights were diminishing before our eyes was unavoidable. Morale among women seemed to be at an all-time low last summer.
When a post-Dobbs world made being a woman exhausting, scary and undesirable, something amazing happened. Women on social media began to reminisce: maybe it was the announcement of Taylor Swift’s or Beyoncé’s tours, or Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie, but it happened.
A social media feed filled with fear and debate about the U.S. government’s attack on women’s rights abruptly switched to a heartwarming place of nostalgia and joy. We were returning to girlhood in a movement I call “Slumber Party Feminism.”
At its apex, Slumber Party Feminism lessens the pressure in being a “good fourth wave-feminist,” or one who sets an example of strength and empowerment for others, dislikes being diminished by words like “girl” or “lady” and whose camaraderie with other women is based in struggle.
Slumber Party Feminism uses the same mode of communication as fourth-wave feminism — social media — but differs in that it forges a common bond between women that isn’t based in trauma. While fourth-wave feminism tends to focus on the hardships of womanhood and our empowerment in overcoming these hardships, Slumber Party Feminism pushes them aside.
The core of Slumber Party Feminism rejects the idea that the term itself is an offensive or demeaning name.
Girl-world is simple: it’s just our lives if we hadn’t found out about the horrors of womanhood.
A world without pressure to grow up quickly for the purpose of proving ourselves as equals to men and fighting for our rights. It’s a world where we only inherited our hair color from our mothers, not their dark circles, or their trauma.
The Slumber Party Feminist girl-world is a place where we didn’t learn what the #MeToo movement was before we knew how to find X in math class. Where we can eat macaroni and cheese and pickles for dinner with no shame.
Slumber Party girl-world means that not passing the Bechdel Test when hanging out with your girls doesn’t make you a bad feminist. It’s a party where you’re accepted, even when you take too many jello shots and get a little sloppy on a Thursday night. A place where you can do your best, and that’s enough.
You’re just a girl, right? If you are, then you’re welcome at the Slumber Party.
Slumber Party Feminism, though healing and empowering, isn’t revolutionary. It’s a reclamation of girlhood, and a well-deserved escape. But as women’s rights are continually threatened, we must be careful with our return to girlhood. If we begin to only find joy in Slumber Party girl-world, our generation is sending the message to our daughters that womanhood is something to dread and escape.
Slumber Party Feminism can have the most power to make systemic change in the feminist movement if we bridge the divide between fourth-wave feminist ideals and our girl-worlds. The friendship bracelet making, fun-loving, silly, vivid qualities we attribute to “being a girl” can stay when we go do the challenging task of fighting for our rights in our womanhood.
With the employment of girlhood camaraderie alongside the powerful qualities we possess as women, we have the ability to channel the strength of all the women we admire.
So wear that pink outfit, talk about your crushes and help your friends out. Make mistakes, embarrass yourself, eat weird combinations of foods and spend money on things you may not need sometimes — I promise, you haven’t lost your right to the title of woman.
Maya Aguirre is a sophomore Magazine, News and Digital Journalism major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at msaguirr@syr.edu.
