In college, finding love seems impossible. But putting yourself out there can help
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Whether that be with strangers, friends, family or a significant other, we strive for a sense of support and attention throughout our stressful lives. This desire leads to the emergence of romantic relationships, a concept that Valentine’s Day honors.
When we find that person, even if it may be temporary, genuine contentment arises. It’s a beautiful thing — to be considered, to be cared for and to be loved.
This sense of contentment does have its limitations. Compatibility and availability remain a significant factor. Yes, there are lots of people within our population, but a percentage lack our interests and the other worthy portion seem to be taken. Being college aged makes it even harder.
Syracuse University sophomore Ashley Goldberg said, “It’s really hard to meet people because not everyone wants the same things and everyone is at different maturity levels.”
“I also think it can be hard to find longevity in short connections, which is what we have the most time for in college because life moves very quickly here,” Goldberg said. “It’s hard to get a grasp on someone’s full personality from that, but once you find someone that makes you laugh and understands you to some degree, that’s when it’s time to consider something more significant.”
These struggles define why we continue searching. While the process isn’t easy, it is manageable with the proper tactics and effort. We must force ourselves to be extroverted, at times. For some of us, putting ourselves out there isn’t natural. Regardless of how much we may prefer our routine comfort, we have to prioritize social gatherings and events.
“You should try new extracurriculars and go to different environments that you don’t normally go to,” Goldberg said.
It’s not easy to put yourself into an uncomfortable setting. But by doing so, you may end up finding the person who gives you a sense of newfound comfort.
Stephanie Zaso | Digital Design Director
In a world where social media has taken over, dating apps may appear as your savior. Common apps used by college students like Tinder and Hinge provide exposure to a pool of people outside of a given social circle. These apps are controversial for many students, though.
While some have found a long-term relationship through the apps, some declare them deceptive, offering flings instead of love. People tend to view technological dating as unorthodox. They are, after all, algorithms determined to alter one’s life, meant to bring you curated people who allegedly check all your boxes.
Wyeth Karpovich, an SU sophomore, said, “Tinder doesn’t accomplish much. All it shows is that people have become less confident and cannot handle actual confrontation. It’s just sad how perceptions solely come from images.”
On the other hand, Victoria Cawley, an SU sophomore, said, “I think some dating apps can be good for meeting new people on campus and expanding your circle. I met my ex-boyfriend on a dating app and even though we broke up, I would have never gotten the chance to meet him without it!”
Looking through your mutual connections is another way to find compatibility. Think about how much you adore your friends. Well, chances are you’ll like the people that they surround themselves with. The notorious, and often daunting, “blind date” can be successful if you allow yourself to trust and embrace others. Open-mindedness is what we need to embrace in order to find friendships, let alone our one.
“Personally, I love getting to know new people and I simply love to learn new things. I believe that everyone has a different perspective to offer, so I find it interesting and inviting when connecting with mutuals,” said Becca Carr, an SU junior. .
By offering these strategies, I’m not here to devalue individuality and make it seem that we can only be happy in relationships. Our happiness and success doesn’t rely on others, but companionship can contribute to happiness. So in the meantime, we can only continue to fall for ourselves and our imperfections, with the same passion we fall for others.
There are always ways to find new connections, and that exploration can be a wonderful journey.
Hannah Karlin is a Sophomore Magazine, News and Digital Journalism major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at hekarlin@syr.edu.
